(no subject)

[gaynecologist]

David remembers the first morning when they woke up in their bed in Darrow. Their actual bed. From home. It had turned up unexpectedly a few years ago, as things are wont to do here, and the comfort - emotional and physical - it had given both him and Bryan cannot be underestimated. It was their little piece of home and they had done their best to recreate the rest of the room to match. 

So David thinks nothing of it when he wakes with the same feeling of familiarity. He flings an arm across his eyes, sighing. He can't remember how long he made Bryan stay outside with him to watch for meteors last night but judging by the amount of complaining he'd heard and the number of marshmallows and smores devoured, it was a long time. He lifts his elbow just enough to peek at Bryan's side of the bed, surprised to find that he's already up. One of the kids must have called out, he thinks, stretching and releasing a long groan.

"Bry?"

Tossing off the bed covers, David sits up and runs a hand through his hair. There's light streaming through a window that didn't used to be there. He twists around, the hairs starting to stand along his arms and back of his neck. Their en suite has moved. 

"Oh my god." 

There's a framed photo of them with President Obama. 

"Oh my god, oh my god." This is their house, he confirms, racing to the window and shielding his eyes against the LA sunshine. "Bryan!" Why hadn't he woken him when he'd realised?

The intense rush of exhilaration takes a knock for every empty room David dashes into next. Bryan's not in the bathroom or the kids room or the play room or any of the guest rooms. Even David doesn't even recognise the interiors of some of the rooms. He takes to the stairs, relieved to see a calm looking Smelly stood at the bottom of them. 

"Hey, boy. Is everyone in the kitchen?" It feels like he's racing downstairs to see what Santa has brought him only to find that he's been forgotten, the kitchen completely empty.

Comments

[bryanzilla]

His back hurts. It's the first thing he notices when he begins to stir. Rolling onto his side, he winces. Waking up on a hard, wooden floor would explain the pain. Now he just needs something to explain why he's waking up on a floor.

In a tiny living room... he notices when he finally opens his eyes. "Daviiiid?" Did they get wasted during the meteor shower and not make it to bed? Turning his attention to the small, round door, he sees Bernie's head peek inside for a quick second before she's off sniffing, on the trail of who knows what.

If David just decided to leave him out there and head inside himself, he better have breakfast waiting for him when he gets inside. And someone capable of performing a Swedish massage.

[gaynecologist]

After years of dealing with medical emergencies and panicked parents-to-be, David has picked up multiple tricks for staying calm in stressful situations. Clearly he's been out of the game for too long because none of those skills are kicking in now.

Smelly's tail swishes like a metronome across the kitchen floor as he sits, waiting expectantly for breakfast.

"Bryan! Bryan! Bryan!" David yells, bounding around the island in their kitchen. Their beautiful, Mediterranean-inspired kitchen. He's heard about people returning home for a week or a fortnight but it's more like a hallucination; they're still technically in Darrow. Nobody knows what happens if and when you actually go home but David can't imagine you remember everything when you do, so this must still be Darrow. And therefore Bryan, the kids and the dogs must still be here. It's loose logic but it's still logic that he can cling to.

He flings open the front door, staggering out into the morning sun in his shorts and t-shirt, running barefoot along the driveway.

"Sawyer! Bug! Guys, this is not funny!"

[bryanzilla]

Crawling towards the door, he of course bangs is head on the way out, slamming it shut with a kick once he outside. Rubbing the sore spot, he squints against the sun, wiggling his toes in the grass.

Once his eyes adjust, he realizes this isn't their backyard... Except, it is. Sort of?

"Omigod," Bryan breathes. It's a little different. There's the stupid Hobbit hole and a good size swing and slide play set that he doesn't remember, but he'd know the back of their house anywhere.

"David?!," he calls, louder, more panicked this time as he rushes for the side door.

[gaynecologist]

David rubs his face with a groan of desperation, bent half over as if trying to protect himself from the terrifying reality that he might be here on his own.

It's meant to be him and Bryan, forever and always. Not even Darrow had separated them. They'd gone together, they have to have come back together, he can't lose faith now.

"Not now, Smelly," he pushes the dog away and lifts his head, worrying his bottom lip. Only it's not Smelly, it's Bernie and David lets out a cry of relief. "Good girl, good girl, Bern." He hooks a finger through her collar, taking her with him as he moves between their cars, heedless of the stones beneath his feet.

"Harvey! Bryan?" He cups a hand and peers into the blacked out windows of his husband's GMC. Two car seats in the back, one space themed, the other rainbow pattern. David lets out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding.

[bryanzilla]

"Sawyer? Bug?" This is officially the most anxiety inducing game of hide and seek ever. He hates it. "David?"

Bryan zips through the kitchen and dashes into the living room next. A few children's books and small blankets are by the couch, a basket of toys in the corner. He's about to make his way upstairs when he spots the front door wide open. As if this entire thing isn't scary enough, that just makes it ten times worse.

Bursting back out into the daylight, Bryan sees the end of a tail wagging just beyond the bumper of his car. And then he sees David. "David!" Where are the kids? Do you have them? Where's Sawyer? Where's Bug?

He needs answers but he's afraid to say the questions out loud.

[gaynecologist]

Relief hits David like a ten tonne truck. He throws his head back in thanks and lets go of Bernie, quickly filling his arms with Bryan in a tight hug.

"Thank God," he groans into his shoulder. "You gave me such a scare. I woke up and you weren't there."

[bryanzilla]

"I woke up in your stupid Hobbit hole in the yard," he says, hugging him back. "What's happening? Are we--" Home?

He doesn't want to jinx it.

"Is this real?"

[gaynecologist]

"I don't know," David admits, keeping a secure hold of his husband. "The fact you just said there's a Hobbit hole in the yard makes me think it's not. And Bernies's here too. She's from Darrow. I..."

He gives Bryan a look like it pains him to disappoint him. Which is does. It absolutely does.

"I don't think it's real, Bry. We've heard of things like this happening to others and it's always been temporary."

[bryanzilla]

His body goes tense before he pulls away. Bryan's not sure if David fully understands the weight of what he's just said, but he does know he's not prepared to fully deal with it right now.

"And where's Charlotte from?" He asks before turning and heading back into the house. Bernie is here - wherever here is - and there are clear signs of the kids, too. "Sawyer! Charlotte!" He takes the stairs two at a time up to the second floor. This can't be LA because Bernie's here and Bernie is from Darrow. So if they ever want to see LA again, nothing from Darrow would be there?

Charlotte's from Darrow.

The rooms are empty. His throat tightens and his eyes burn as he makes his way back to the stairs. "Where are they, David?!"

[gaynecologist]

"She's from you," David replies without hesitation, his face creasing in concern as Bryan disappears back into the house. His stomach drops when he hears Bryan calling out in search of the kids. He'd assumed Bryan knew exactly where they were.

"I thought..." He cups his hands over his mouth and follows Bryan inside. No, no, no, no, no.

"They have to be here." Their stuff is here. There are photos in the living room. He looks up at Bryan, determined not to let the panic show on his face. "Where, where we go, they go. They're here, they have to be."

[bryanzilla]

That's a rule David made up himself when they first got there. Bryan sort of believed it, too, but mostly just because he liked the idea and the alternative was just too terrible to consider. Apparently David doesn't even believe his own made up rule if he now thinks Darrow made things have to stay there.

"Then why aren't they?!"

[gaynecologist]

"They're probably just hiding! Or maybe they, they went exploring, this whole place is gonna be new to them," David insists, sounding optimistic despite the fact it's all just guesswork.

"We will find them, Bryan. Check again, okay. All the closets, under the beds, anywhere they could have crawled into. I'll look down here. We will find them," he repeats, already heading deeper into the house, Bryan's office in his sights.

A couple of minutes later, he's taking out his frustration on the refrigerator, slamming it with both hands and all his might, then pressing his forehead to the cool door. Life can't be this cruel.

The police, David thinks, pushing back and sucking in a breath. They need to call them. His gaze falls onto a family calendar, fixed to the refrigerator with lettered magnets - D, B, S and C in each corner.

Sleepover with grandma. Circled.

"Bryan..." His breath quickens rapidly. "Bryan!"

[bryanzilla]

He double and triple checks each room. In hampers, toy boxes and behind curtains. He loved this house so much before Darrow, but right now the size of it is something he loathes.

This is why they should have had cellphones.

"They're not up there, Davi--" he says, coming to a stop in the middle of the kitchen. "Are you looking for a snack?"

[gaynecologist]

David wordlessly presses a finger to the calendar. It's yesterday's date, though of course that could mean nothing given how much time they lost when they were forcefully emigrated to Darrow.

As worried as he is about the kids, he can't help but wonder which grandma this refers to. Could his own mother be in Darrow now? Or could they actually be home?

"I don't think they're here..."

[bryanzilla]

"What does that mean?!" A few minutes ago they had to be here, now he doesn't think they are?

He approaches the refrigerator, glancing at the calendar, specifically the date beneath David's finger. "Sleepover with grandma... Wait. Who-- Napa? They're in Napa?!" Unlike David, Bryan automatically writes his mother off as the grandmother the note is referring to. Another state isn't a 'sleepover', never mind the fact that he can't really imagine his mother volunteering for something like that. Or him agreeing to it.

[gaynecologist]

But that's hundreds of miles away...

"Oh god," David groans, pressing a thumb and fingers into his eye sockets. This is all a bad dream and he's going to wake up any second now. Any second.

Now.

He opens his eyes on Bryan.

"This is a good thing. If they're with my m-- if they're with my mom, then they're safe. Okay?" He rubs his hands up and down Bryan's biceps in an effort to comfort him. "Okay?"

[bryanzilla]

"Not okay! Not remotely okay." If this isn't home, how do they know Napa is a place that's even accessible here? Darrow had its city limits; things came in and left through the invisible boarders, but people couldn't come and go freely. An outside world existed, but they were stuck. What if it's like that here and Napa is beyond their reach?

"I need shoes," Bryan announces, pulling away from David. He's not sure if he needs them in order to drive all the way to Napa himself right now or to the airport. He can't really think straight right now but shoes seem like a step in the right direction.

[gaynecologist]

"Bry." David tries to keep hold of him, wanting just a moment of comfort for himself while they face the very real possibility of having lost their beautiful children. Or don't face it. It's not even a thought he can entertain. He doesn't even notice that his entire body has run cold.

"I'll...find a phone. Maybe we'll be able to call Napa and see if--" David's voice breaks, unable to finish the sentence. He waves the emotion off, turning to the task at hand.


No if. No if.

[bryanzilla]

Bryan shoves his feet into the first pair of shoes he can find and tracking down a set of car keys is easy enough despite not having been in this house in years. Thank goodness for his OCD. Everything in its place. Except their kids.

"We have to go. We have to go!" Maybe splitting up would be smarter, but there's no way he's letting David too far out of his sights. He can't.

[gaynecologist]

"But what if we leave and then they come back and we're not here?! One of us has to stay," David realizes, the fear of either of them being apart from the other and their kids etched deeply across his face.

"Oh good, you boys are up." Her voice is so distinctive but it's like David sees her without hearing anything. "I know we agreed I'd have them until after lunch but Johannes has organised a surprise brunch and salsa class. He's such a thoughtful man and a very generous lover," she explains, mostly aimed at Bryan as she transfers Charlotte into his arms and lifts two backpacks onto the dining table. Sawyer strides in after them and immediately makes a beeline for one of the high stools by the kitchen counter, pulling it out and starting to climb up with confidence.

"Sawyer wet the bed again. He gets that from David's father," she informs Bryan in a hushed voice. "Okay, my darlings, granmommy loves you very much." Each child gets a whirlwind kiss on the head. "David, my beautiful boy," she blows kisses to him as she leaves with an excitable whoo. "Don't wait up!"

[bryanzilla]

Relieved doesn't even begin to describe what Bryan feels when he sees the kids and Charlotte is in his arm. He squeezes her instinctively, maybe a little too tight, but other than that, he's in a bit of a state of shock and doesn't know what to say or how to react.

He can't seem to form words, not that David's mother really gave them the opportunity to even if he wanted.

Bryan stares at the door for a long moment after Frances makes her exit before looking at Charlotte and smiling faintly at her. "You two had us so worried," he says, kissing her forehead. His attention then falls on David. Honestly, he surprised he didn't throw himself on the floor and latch onto her ankle before she could leave. "Babe...?"

[gaynecologist]

'Statuesque' is not really a word anyone would use to describe David Bartholomew Sawyer. Until this very moment.

He hasn't moved an inch since his mom entered the room and even now, only his eyes are unfixed. His gaze travels slowly. From the door she disappeared through, to Sawyer who has just sat triumphantly atop the stool, to Smelly who takes up position beside said stool with an eager anticipation that he'll finally be fed. To Charlotte who's saying something about having eaten spaghetti for breakfast. And eventually to Bryan.

Between the shock and the relief and the countless other loop-de-loops on the emotional roller-coaster that is today, out comes the most ridiculous response. But it's the only thing David can get out without completely falling apart.

"...Who's Johannes?"

[bryanzilla]

Bryan doesn't know and he doesn't care. He has plenty of questions, but with the kids there in the kitchen, the most important one has been answered.

"Where were you?" Bryan asks, walking over to Sawyer and giving him a kiss, too. He sets Charlotte down on the table top, giving her a quick look over. She points back towards the side door, the one David's mom had left through and the one Bryan had entered after he'd woken up.

"The house next to the 'nother house," Sawyer offers.

[gaynecologist]

Bernie takes a seat by David's feet, then leans against his legs. She's heavy enough to pull him out of his stupor. He looks down and takes a step back just as she slides the rest of the way to the floor and lays her head on her front paws. She whines, eyebrows twitching.

"Over dere," Charlotte adds, her attention then snatched by Smelly's nose as he strains to reach her and give her a thorough sniff.

"Did, did that actually just happen?" David asks, wandering over to his family, the shock still evident. "That was my mom?" He automatically reaches for Sawyer, lifting him from the stool and clutching him tightly, much to his son's consternation. "She's in Darrow now? How is that..."

[bryanzilla]

"That was her... She's wherever here is." He's not going to focus on where that is exactly right now. Not after what David said before.

"Why did she give me that look when she was talking about her 'very generous lover'?" Was she insinuating that he wasn't that to David? Honestly, it was pretty authentically Frances.

[gaynecologist]

Confirmation. That's what pushes him over the edge. David's face crumples and he lets out a weepy sound, his shoulders going moments later.

"Oh my god. I thought I was imagining her," he whispers behind his free hand that's trying to shield his tears from Sawyer and Charlotte's sights.

[bryanzilla]

Bryan moves to stand beside David, wrapping an arm around him. Not to be left out, Charlotte thrusts herself forward to get into the mix, offering some comfort to David, too.

"No cry," she says, giving the side of his head a pat.

"No, he can cry," Bryan tells her. "It's okay. I don't think it's just a sad cry."

[gaynecologist]

There's a small hitch of laughter when Charlotte offers her advice. Sawyer's a little more sensitive, turning his head against David's shoulder quietly.

"It's a little bit of sad cry and a big bit of happy cry," he assures her, pressing a kiss into the palm of their daughter's hand before wiping his cheeks.

"Adioooossss!" His mother flashes past the doors with a wave, now dressed like a Spanish flamenco dancer with a giant red flower in her hair. A lithe man follows with greased back hair, Cuban heels and a rose between his teeth.

David crumples again. His mom's more beautiful than he ever remembers.

[bryanzilla]

"A ghoooost," Charlotte responds to Frances, tossing her head back and giving her whole body a shimmy. Bryan doesn't have the heart to correct her. Instead, he just tightens the arm around David, giving him a squeeze.

"Should you--" Go after her? He still doesn't want to separate, and he doesn't think Frances would want them all crashing her...date? But it's David's mom and he hasn't seen her in years, even if that clearly hasn't been the case for her. "I don't. I don't know what this is or what to do."

[gaynecologist]

When he'd imagined seeing his mother again, David had pictured a grand reunion with plenty of hugs and tears and finally getting to introduce Charlotte to her. And showing her what an amazing little boy Sawyer has grown into. He didn't expect all the emotion to be one-sided with nowhere for his to go.

"I know what to do," Sawyer pipes up. "When I'm sad, daddy says hug for the dolphins--"

"En-endorphins," David can't help but correct very quietly.

"And next, kiss for, um, kisses for to be kind and you daddy," he points at Bryan, "always say sad turns to happy because of cake," he continues triumphantly, like he's cracked the code. "It's very simple. You listen to me. I know what to do."

[bryanzilla]

Cake really does seem like just about a good enough plan as any.

"You okay?" He asks David, kissing his temple. "It's okay to say no." He's not sure he's okay, but having the kids back has at least grounded Bryan. He can't imagine what's going through David's mind right now. His husband's relationship with his mother has always been... special, so seeing her again after so long has to have him on an emotional rollercoaster.

[gaynecologist]

David sniffs, unsure how to answer. He rests his head against Bryan's instead, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Down, please, daddy," Sawyer requests and as soon as his feet hit the floor, he's wrapping his arms around Smelly in the biggest of hugs. David guesses he's decided to start there with the hugs, kisses and cake solution.

David wraps his own arms around Bryan's waist and watches his son for a moment, twisting to look behind him to check on Bernie. She's there, lying twisted on her back, the picture of comfort.

He looks to Bryan, his eyebrows furrowing. "Did you see Harvey upstairs?"

[bryanzilla]

"I don't think so." His mind had obviously been elsewhere, but their dogs are pretty had to miss.

"You wanna go play with your brother?" Bryan asks, setting Charlotte down a moment later.


"No," she says. "Him wet the bed."

He gives her butt a pat and she's off, toddling in Sawyer's direction anyway, as if she's already forgotten her own argument.

[gaynecologist]

"I haven't seen him down here," David trails off warily, removing his arms from Bryan's waist and turning to face him square on.

"What if..."

What if what David's prayed for every day for the past four years has actually come true and they're home? Without Harvey. The thought of him having been left in Darrow all alone starts breaking David's heart like nothing before it.